crawling into the shell within

Many a times it seemed interestingly simple to go and hide in a corner till the ghost in the movie went away. i wondered, what an amazingly easy thing escape is. if i can escape all the things that scare me, i never have to be worried again. Then came the day to face my fears the day of my first love. I was so amassed by the inflow of so many feelings i started getting scared. But, i had a way out of this, it was simple. To hide from it till it passes. it was beautiful it worked, those feelings did pass. But, so did the person i loved the most. i wondered "what just happened" unable to explain to myself what happened, i came to the conclusion that it was only natural that such things happen and it is more important to be successful in life. Then came the day i graduated and time to search for a job came. i tried for many that came my way and failed and suffered with the feeling of worthlessness and dejection. i got scared and remembered the old way that helped me from the ghost in the movie and having no other immediate remedy. I started hiding again from many good opportunity and good jobs. Again it helped me to remove the the thing's that i was scared of. The job interviews just stopped coming, i thought i would be happy. But, strangely it made me sad rather than enjoying my success. The success by avoiding every thing that i loved just because of the fear of it. Then i started wondering again "is crawling into the shell like a crab any good???". Then it hit me, the ghost in that movie went away, but the ghost didnt stop coming in other movies and hiding only allowed me to enjoy a day. hiding every day not only made the ghost go away, but made the world invisible to me.

Life a Reality or an Illusion

The sudden break in the economic stability and the following recession, was a shocking wake up call from the dream of ever growing economy. Suddenly, a sensation of nothing being real sets in. But, the failure of the system we created was no surprise. "To error is human" even if the persons who run's the country is perfect, the country will not be at its best. we may have to accept that we are living in an unreliable human society where every thing is destroyed and created out of man's greed and desires. So, on deeper pondering into the history of human, there was only one conclusion that was made. we are playing a game that nature created and we are going against the rules created for every living things on this simple planet. Thus, life is not an illusion its the world that we created around us. With more and more psychological research funded by corporates to discover the inner desires of humans, we are only being manipulated to believe on things that which turns out to be a mere illusion, created by our fellow humans. You may not agree to this but, these things are done merely to occupy the human mind with other thoughts, its more like Chinese trying to send more men to dangerous jobs to keep them occupied and not be a problem to society. If humans are not occupied or in our terms not involved in economic activity then our animal instinct kicks in then the stability of the society is affected. For Ex: maximum number of wars and slaughter takes place in least economically developed countries. So, when ever you feel life is an illusion, dont feel you are wrong, you have just come out of the matrix.

The problem about all this is that when i started thinking about all this i started feeling dejected and wanted to stop from committing my self from any social activity. but, very soon i realized that life is a gift and though we want a purpose for it, we need none to go on living an happy life. It also made me realize that, i no longer had to worry about the consequence of my actions and care about the future. no matter how the ending is its best to have lived to the fullest by the guidance of the our fore fathers than a selfish life or an animals life.