“Rocky” the side kick and me to the rescue

After completing my engineering in the year of 2008 the year of the recession, I found myself jobless longer than I should have been, leaving me with plenty of free time to hang around with friends longer than I used to and to do the things that I loved to. On one such visit to my friend’s house I came across two new puppies in the neighbor’s house, the neighbor’s are very friendly and became my friend’s in no time. So I got the opportunity to go and play with these puppies, they are two new cute little “great Danes”(little in comparison with its parents) tied up near to the gates of the house such that they stay inside when closed. They were friendly and play full and their names were “Ram” and “Laxman”. Ram was the friendlier one and I spent more time with him. On that while leaving my friends house I spent some time with the dogs, before moving on to my friend’s house gate to talk to him little more to say the final farewell for the day. 

The side kick

But, wait before I could go on about me I have to introduce the side kick of this story. It’s another loyal street   dog that was adopted by the same neighbors. He is a street dog who is tamed and protected from the furry of street life. Brave enough to bark against the running dog and clever enough to run against the chasing dog. He is named “rocky” and is the guardian of the street near tank road, never leaving the footsteps of the house.  

The fight 

It was like any other day, I was talking to my friend outside his house the same story of how funny the new TV serials where, which movie to go next week and about what not. The gate to the neighbors door was open and the dogs tied to the gate where also exposed to the street.  The street is usually dull and the neighborhood is mostly calm. The usual day was coming to a close with me ready to leave and my friend ready to go back in his house. A sudden shriek followed by the fiery barking of the “Rocky” shattered the silence. Everyone in the street turned to a horrific seen of one of the puppy being grabed by a rabies affected dog with only the chains saving the puppy becoming prey. The dog looked ferocious and lean and long, seemed like it was straight from a horror movie and it was not even minding the fierce barking of “Rocky”. I had to do something told my inner voice, the suddenness of the situation made me clueless, immediately I started searching for a rock and found one and I threw it at the dog, but it was in vain the dog’s clutch over the neck of the puppy “Ram” was too strong and its will too hard to be distracted by a small stone. I had to do something the puppy was being chocked and without any more thought or logic I went and kicked the dog hard enough for it to let free the puppy in pain and land in middle of the road, “Rocky” the side kick took over then and came in between the puppy and the villainous dog and continued its barking, it did not run it stayed and showed its brave side. Annoyed by the situation and the continuous barking of “Rocky”, the aggressive dog tried to attack “Rocky” and I for sudden discovering my football skills stepped in with a loud shout. Two against one even the disease stricken dog knew its chances and it coolly moved on like nothing happened. With the adrenaline still pumping in me and still surprised to know I kick that dog off, I almost jumped with joy celebrating my victory and I never loved “Rocky” more than that day we were a team and we both stood for the same cause, for a minute. More I saw completely unknown animal and human joining together for a single cause. But, all the efforts still failed the puppy “Ram” died later of rabies the villain of this story still succeeded and the days where no longer the same for sometime after then when I stood at my friends place. 

I share this story for the KFC -Sets You On Fire contest on Indi Blogger

Born on the month of July

Born on the date of the sun sign cancer, I was born emotional and loved to be creative, preferred the company of the few and enjoyed spending time alone. The only feeling that which is left in my heart is the feeling of being the only strange thing around. So, ending the quest of understanding I thought why not write about them. Being needy always trying to make someone else to like us, there is no limits to the extent where the person born to this sign might not go to get the liking of the few. Being the most creative doesn’t help the matter, the words rhyme and their eyes love, you might love them for what they are. But being with them is another hard story, lagging in self belief the assurance given to them can never stop. Their need of being needy is a never ending thirst; their feelings are as deep as the abyss. Hurt them and it’s a long fall for them and a hard loss for you. For no one can love as they do. Sometimes it makes me wonder if the Cancerians are things from a fairy tale. Hiding under the thick crust, they make you feel that they aren’t much different and may be hard. But getting close and personal the softness will be revealed. Born like a crab they are wondrous creatures and they have ability to make wonders out of nothing and are born in month of July.  

Two hours?? i love it.

Waking up with a fresh morning breeze hitting your face a bright day filling you up with energy, Husband showing his best of his side to you, children are in their most obedient and joy full moods, filled with expectations of an outing. Yes, it’s that day of the week between Saturday and Monday. With all this energetic feelings floating around, the expectant faces turning towards you. Infected with the joy around, you turn towards the corner of the room and notice one more thing staring rite back at you, clothes with dirt. Having work in hand the plans are always put on hold with a pinch of hesitation. Just hoping for some more time, the time of two hours is good enough. The disappointed faces and an ignorant face follow. Left with the holiday of a single day per week I wonder if this is the way Indian women want to spend their weekends.

True to the surf excel Ad; the only thing that was fixed in people’s head was dirt was all bad. But, there is more fun to it than we all know. Can’t forget the day when, even while having an umbrella in my hand. I ran out of my school and played in the rain and stagnant water to my heart full. But, that was the last time I did it, the after effects of it were too much to last a life time. Yes, they have changed the idea. So, why worry when Surf excel is there to wash the scare (that is the dirt)

(Warning: This is not for the kids whose clothes their mom still washes by hands; remember they can wash you with the clothes too.)

 So Back to the topic, if I had just two hours I would go out of my house just get the fresh air that I need, will feel the energy  that I need to feel and will enjoy the gift of time I have got. This may be very dumb, but everyone does it. What’s the difference?? The difference is the feeling with which you feel it. Being part of the most emotional water sign’s, I guess feeling and cherishing the time that you have with you is all that that an emotional person can do, Like changing back to a kid for at least  that two extra hours and running towards the rain without any worries.  

This post has been written for Indiblogger's Surf Excel Matic Get Smart Contest - If you had two extra hours in a day, how would you spend it? To Participate click on the picture below

My off day

It was a dull Sunday morning, convincing me It will be an off day. With the electricity being out, all my devices stopping to working together I got bored to the core, so much so that the old magazine bought long time back started to look attractive. “Gods wanted me to read a book today”, I exclaimed. Mustering all my focus I took up the DARE magazine and was browsing through the pages as slow as possible, it got interesting when I reached a page containing the story about an entrepreneur who started organizing the Indian autorickshaw sector an idea which I always had,  at the end of it I was filled with pride that I too thought about it and exclaimed to myself “I can change the world If I desired”, As  soon as I had this thought “ where can you change the world when you cannot change yourself “ highlighted my inner voice. All, the pride fell to ground as dust. Closing the magazine in my hand, I again exclaimed: “shoot, today is really an off day”. 

CLEANING MY ROOM

Some time back when my brother reduced his weight drastically he used to tell me that the secret to his weight reduction is cleaning the room regularly; I thought it was just a joke. I seriously underestimated the effort needed for a thorough cleaning, when better to know than when cleaning your own room. All these years my cleaning method was simple. Its to transfer junk from one location to the other and again after few months doing the reverse, Never feeling the desire to throw away anything out, hoping to use it someday, only to see that day never came. It was not very soon that the day came that there was no space for me in my own dump, the inevitable just had to be done to sleep outside, I mean to throw things outside. Yes, it was the D day; the day I might lose some of my weight. All the invisible dirt and the months of piles formed in the corners, made me feel I was sleeping not in a room, But along with the nature. It started in the morning and the monotony of the work stopped me, every inch of free space made it necessary to clear the junk. In the end of the day I wish I could say I won it (I have done it), but that the difficulty of living in a house designed by an architect there are too many places to clean, with never ending projection s and displays. I had to retreat being exhausted and tired, hoping to continue another day.

LEARNING FROM A CRYING BABY

                         A small baby is the cutest little thing that is born into this world fresh and clear in its mind and thought. Not shy to complain and to cry, it reacts to the smallest signs of harm. The cute they may seem but they possess the strongest beacon for danger (cry with a strongest voice). They have to do that to show you something is wrong to understand that they are in trouble and they need help. The instinct of million years of evolution has not spared us as we age; we have to run to attend the calling. Cutest little helpless child needs to do it and as adults we sometimes have to do it our self. In India we constantly find our self in such situations and we fail to show the displeasure, out of sense of decency or feeling of not to hurt others. But, when we stop complaining to people who make things worse for us, it’s the best worst thing that we can do. Though crying in front of the public is not the best way for an adult, we have developed our own Beacons like anger and questioning the methods in which a person does things. Only when we display such indicators, will they know that they have to change. But, if they don’t mind one person, if everyone starts complaining it becomes wrong, then they will change on their own. The change of method is necessary though screaming like a kid is an option and people do, do that. It proves little point other than that we are crazy.

                                    Why this blog you might ask in the list of meaningless blogs that I have wrote and kept, this does not figure. Since, we have forgotten to complain. We have forgotten to such an extent that the politicians think its ok to steal from us while we are suffering. They don’t know we suffer and how will they, when there is no complaint. The voice of the media as become the voice of people the voice of exaggerating media as become the thinkers of people or more guide books for people. We claim that we are intelligent than a child but, the smartness we had as a kid is actually lost while we were working hard to become smartJ. The wonder that we are ready for the world when we are born, but we choose the other way is really funny. So, start complaining with sense and thought, say no when you have to, say you are hurt when you are. Let them know, if they still not care then its time you stop caring for what they say or do and not to forget learn from a crying baby. 

A REVELATION ABOUT EXPECTATION

It was like any other day, sitting alone listening to soothing music wondering about the past and figuring out the future and while doing nothing and staring at my computer, to start a new blog, I had a revelation about a simple concept called “expectation”.

I was trying to advertise my blog for some time and tried very hard to find an Ad that will pay. When I found one and posted it on my blog I expected a lot of results. But, I did not get any. I was disappointed and stopped working on my blog. My blog’s ranking went down and I was losing interest on the thing I loved the most, writing a blog. It took some time for me to start again and to sit and wonder on this day.

 Expectation is a small word. But it has so much meaning and effect. Expectation leads to the need for results. It leads to working for what we think is the level needed to find the results and when we start working for that imaginary hard work level we lose a lot. We lose hope, we lose confidence, and we lose belief. Expectation is worst even in relationship. Loving with expectation only results in loss of interest on the person whom we love, That is when they don’t live up to our expectation. It was the strangest thing that I understood. No expectation means no boundaries and no limits to what you can do; the beauty of not expecting is that no matter what the result there will be no regret.

We will be feeling good for simply doing the things that we love and we will work more for it. I was stupid enough to not see how happy I was just having a blog and started feeling sad for unable to advertise it. It was a wonder day today learnt something, hoping to maintain it. 

FLOW OF POSITIVE ENERGY

It was a real bad day I had to face the fury of the boss; work seemed to be going on the down side along with my performance that day. Every bit of interest in me was snatched away with a really difficult data entry work, the long slow typing never seemed to have no end. With all the negatives clouding my head, I wanted to get an excuse to run out of the work early.

            Before I could carry on with the negatives to others, I got the opportunity to attend a management seminar by an energetic trainer. Seemed like a good opportunity to leave early. Though what started as an excuse to leave early turned into day changing seminar. The topic was about leadership, a very common idea, but the crowd full of energetic managers brought the better side of it and filled the room with positive energy. With eyes of a 9 year old and the interest of a 15 year old they listened acted and answered with excitement and interest. After One hour of observing their energy, little humor and friendliness I was seminared to feel better. The energy that which others possessed really transformed what could have been a gloomy topic and a bad day for me.   .

Marketing Experience

The word marketing is an important word for companies, a head ache for some customers and difficult maize for the marketer. I realized all the above, when I started conducting market survey for my internship. The marketing word threatens many fresh MBA's, scaring them away from a job filled with adventure and little amount of humiliation. like any other jobs it has its two sides. Though i just started to conduct market survey, I had to change the introduction sentence that I tell them many times before I could even get near an employee to ask questions. It has to be complicated and yet simple so that the guard does not think, we are here to bug them about a product. It is a hard journey for marketing. 

APPOINTMENT

Getting the appointment is the hardest part. You might call 20 companies per day and be left feeling like all of them have left the country or too busy to sit with you. Some are frank and sharply put you down with Echo’s of No's ringing through your hear. One thing I have realized is to never call up a small company for an appointment for a survey, they always depend on their boss and they are always outside. You can do a lot more being physically present, than calling people. But, never go to a slightly larger companies without an appointment, it’s of no use going there without one. 

COLD CALLING (Meeting without an appointment)

It’s the best method to conduct a survey and it involves going around and looking for prospective companies. It’s one of the most difficult process with little humiliation, little excitement and a tones of funny incidents (mainly based on you though). You will never know what to expect through cold calling. 

Chennai is the place where i conducted the survey and mostly in good companies there were very good response and no rejections. But, still i had to re assure them that I am not a marketer. Tell the words “Sir I am a student, here to ask some questions to find out the reach of the product in the market". Any deviation from this sentence or any reference is made to survey; they immediately think we are marketers. It’s that fast, 10 seconds is all that you get to make the difference. You can always know from their face, what they are thinking about you. Any bad judgment its a quick No and the gates are always wide open to go back out. They have an easier word and there is no other response for a "NO".

 So, the best way to describe what I do is. Challenge is market research or marketing and marketing is a challenge. Only the ones who like to challenge life are fit to fight it. Others simply have to keep searching for something better. 

SIMPLICITY

I am on a roll writing about the simple things of life in my blog.  It caught my fancy recently and it created thoughts of what could have been if the world as not changed. Wondering how simplest of things made people happy. How we managed to complicate the most basic things in life and struggle to cope with it. How the advertising as changed the worlds view, from social benefit to the individuals benefit. The everyday problems in life as become so hard to challenge and questions may well be answered by something called simplicity. Why would we have to struggle in life if the people stuck to their basic needs and there shall be no inflation or shortage? Yet in today’s world the active promotion of individualism has been promoted to make people forget the concept of sharing. Sometimes the mammoth of problems can be simplified and made better.  Braking life’s work in pieces will help in getting rid of the strain and allowing us to know what we can do and not to do. May be simple things don’t appeal as much now as before.

Simplicity sounds so nice these days to me that, Buddhism seems like a perfect religion. Simple things can touch people’s hearts. Make a lot of difference in people’s life.  But, we have complicated everything in our life to such an extent, that simplicity is no longer that simple. We have complicated the world so much being simple is no longer easy. But, the beauty of it can never be ignored. A simple smile on child’s face. The simple gesture that can show love, simple presence of loved one, the simple beauty of the nature. Though simple things make our life wonderful the constant push to complicate things never stops. As we get used to a new technology a newer technology arises to create the desire. Wondering since there are no limits to imaginations I guess there is no limit to the technology and no limits to the complications.

HOW HELPING OTHERS HELPS US

Life is a book full of mysteries and you cannot figure out all of it on your own. It’s the smallest things that helps us to learn in life, if carefully observed with the eye of an eagle its possible to notice. Though simple tools that guides and benefits us are hard to find, they do exist. One such small tool is "helping". When someone approaches us for help, its always wise to consider the pros and cons of helping them. But,  the most extraordinary things happen only when we  never think before, doing good to others.

Except for things like

1) Allowing the strangers to use your credit card.(never done this)

2) Giving away your last hundred to a beggar, when other beggars are watching. (Do this if you want to become a star for a moment :))

Though there is humor to helping people in India and sometimes hardship, we can not always get the best out of it. It’s more like paying to some schools, thinking that we are actually going to learn something useful other than the process of memorizing. 

 Anyways, It took a while for me to realize that in any case, helping is never a one way process and whatever you do will come back to you. They are very small that some time we don’t even notice them. It may be as simple as looking for a job for your friend and finding a better alternative for yourself, in the process or on the process of giving the beggar some change we discover that we don’t have enough cash for purchase or trying to book tickets for a friend and understanding the process comes in handy when you need them. But, even the smallest benefit disappears when we help with expectations. The benefit do not show at the same time or moment, careful observance is needed to know the change within and around.  .

About The Book: Three Mistakes of My Life

If you want to be an entrepreneur you can take out few tips from this book. Written by the Author of “5 point someone” and “one night @ the call center”, it has the right mixture for a good book. Though it might sound like a story of a person who could not make it in life. ”the 3 mistakes of my life” is the best book to show you, what not to do as an entrepreneur and also how to manage setbacks. The story happens in the backdrop of Gujarat earth quake and the successive riots.

  It’s about three friends who come together to start a business. It starts out as a sports shop and slowly develops into a sports and stationary shop. As the story progresses so does the business of the three. But, when they dare to think big everything starts to fall apart around them. The shop they buy on the shopping mall crumbles taking down their dream of growth. But, they manage and put themselves together to start all over again. The rest of the story is about the other problems an entrepreneur faces in his personal life.

     This book is written in simple words and will make you laugh at few instances. Thus, keeping you entertained throughout the story. The one main problem in this book is that the story may seems real in the beginning as it goes on, the author seems to have got carried away a little on the reality. Due to this few instances, the story is little filmy and the characters seem unreal. But all the downs in the book become nonexistent, thanks to Chetan bhagats brilliance in narration. On the whole, this book assures to be a good entertainer and a guide for certain entrepreneurs. 

Changing World

                                   Miss those days when I would be fighting with my brother for the smallest toys. Miss those days when we are supposed to share everything in the house, miss those days when biscuits came in big tins, miss the yellow cloth bag. Miss the beautiful cold morning, miss the old cycles that are the only transport, miss the tasty briyanies made by mom,  miss the time when a landline is a blessing and every call is a surprise, miss all the free time that I had when I was young, miss the empty streets of Sunday, miss the days when all that neighboring countries had was rusting guns, miss the pollution free air in the city, miss the sophisticated scooters, miss the excitement of having the only channel releasing the new movies, miss the days when 10rs is all a school kid used to get, miss all the simplicity of life.

courtesy: BBC.co.uk

                                           I loved the days when lack of money kept families together. Loved those days when new clothes once a year are the cheers of families, loved those days when the crows are kept at bay by the lonely guard, guarding the sun dried grains, loved those days when all I had to have is, what the guy next door had to feel like a king. Loved those days when schools where on leave for the smallest drizzle. How can I forget all those days, when a kid felt, he had everything in life with just a torn shorts and an ice cream in one hand.  I am really happy that, I saw it all and sad the coming generation won’t see it. But, is it not the amazing thing about change, it never stops.  

Too much positivity

If a small child is born in India and is allowed to watch TV and go around the country, it will think that life is superb and there will be always good things happening and problems never occur. Yup, that’s what they will think; if you say I am wrong, just look around and all that you will see are banners of two people smiling, an happy couple and people with superb cars and bikes. Well about the poor, They must have done something really wrong to be there. Even they can be easily eclipsed if the only transport you use is a car and you only go to malls. I will not be surprised if a child says he wants to swim in toys and live in candy land in India today. Sure, they will suffer. But they feel really left out thinking that they are the only ones going through this. Just going through the ads in television makes me convinced, that the world is made without hell.  It seems they have solution for all the problems in life. Is Monster roaming near the treacherous path?  Buy a bike, everyone will follow you. If you feel troubled drink a coffee you will feel better. Husband is Feeling tired???  You  need a better cooking oil. While I was wondering why the ads are so positive, what harm it might do to the thinking of people, I felt they are not alone. The movies (talking about Tamil movies only) are not far behind in convincing us that we are in heaven. Hero sees a girl the girl is very beautiful and unusually humble, Likes everything the hero does. Well, wonder where the guys get the idea of teasing the gals. The place where I see negative is in the Indian TV serials, Man they are sad, packed with every worst things that is possible. Any more sadness added to this there will be no house wife’s in India. People dont realize its the reality and the truth that is more reaching to the audience, than fake optimism.  Hope the the more sensible are given the opportunity than the repeaters in the future.   

best info from unlikely source

  A financial analyst was taking a seminar about the Indian share market. He started his seminar by asking us about all the new terms and concept, for which our heads were as clear as a blue sky. Entire audience got demoralized thinking we have no knowledge of the topic that he’s going to speak. The signs of it started showing, when people where silent as a rock to his questions. But, sincere he seemed to be; he did not let himself get disheartened by the silent audience and continued. He may have taken a bad choice, with heads going down in minutes of him starting his speech and the rest thinking about the best ways to sleep. We were helpless from falling on the bench like smoked mosquitoes.  Suddenly, he stopped and asked a question, which baffled even the person in his deepest of dreams. All he asked was, “Guys I think I am boring you??” Does he need to be told? Well this person seems to need to hear it a loud. But not minding the sleepy heads he carried on and I tried listing. Getting curious of what was that which is so important, that he had to deliver to the class, which does not want to listen. I was at a shock to know that this dumbest speech, which could easily been awarded the “worst speech of the year”, had real stuff in it. As I went on listening’ he didn’t relent even though most of the class is sound asleep. He was determined to complete and my determination to listen helped me in the end. He gave tips for share trading that I would have got only if I read for hours together boring financial books. In the end I got the best info from unlikely source, even though I listened to much such speech, no single person shared so much info about trading. May be out of desperation to make people listen he opened up so much or out of interest, I can’t tell. But in the end I felt pity for the guys who missed it. 

SOLUTION TO SONY ERICSSON Cedar or J108i SOUND PROBLEM

                                 I have been using Cedar for 3 months and had problems, with it's speaker from the day one. Since, the phone was never loud enough. I thought the phone does not have a good speaker. Still worse after three months the ring tone became very low. I had to keep it in vibe mode and keep it close, just to know if someone is giving me a call. But, I discovered that there is no fault with the  phone. Just a small change done to it made its speaker very loud.
                              All I did was to open the  back cover of the phone and removed the small cloth covering the mouth of the speaker of the phone. The cloth was blocking the sound and when it starts accumulating dirt the sound reduces gradually. Also the mouth of the speaker is very small and the sound gets easily blocked even with this small cloth. I am not sure why Sony Ericsson made the speaker so bad. But, removing the cloth really helps.
                      One warning if the cloth is removed dirt and water can enter inside the phone easily. It’s either sound quality or safety option with Cedar. But, with this phone, I had to choose sound quality. Once I removed the cloth and experienced the high volume I couldn't close it any more.  Getting a decent cover for Cedar phone might help in protecting it, after the cloth is removed. Hope this information helps. I have been using the Phone without the back cover for 5 months didnt experience any problems till now.

For friend having trouble opening the back cover of Cedar check this link its not that great it might be help full: http://tntravelfuninfo.blogspot.com/2012/01/removing-back-cover-of-sony-ericsson.html

(Excitement With Caution) LOKPAL

Only a spark was needed to awaken the people who are filled with hate against our corrupt representatives of this nation. But, is it there fault alone, should we not reform our self first??? The change might have started but shall not last if the people in this nation do not loose their greed and desire to make things easy by corruption. I heard a kid saying that corruption helps things done faster, Without understanding that it’s the corruption that is slowing the progress of this great nation. It’s stupid to say our nation will be still and watch all the wrong done by our politicians. Its foolish to say that we have no choice other than to select the corrupt as leaders. Since, is this not the country where “Gandhi” the man who over through the British empire was born, but beware this is also the nation where “Godse” too was born. So, i can only feel excitement to this change with caution.

INSPIRATION THROUGH INSPIRING WORDS

The energy is high, the mood is ecstatic and the brain relaxed enough to work the best. With the ingredient in place I was ready for great to achieve my dreams, passion and ideas, with the music of inspiration ringing in my head, I went to the bed, lied down and slept. When it was time to wake up it was only regret and self pity that remained. So much could have been done at the peak of my emotions, But, I was left to the thought of being helpless. Searching for inspiration I landed in the web site http://www.ted.com/. TED.com has a collection of speeches given by people, from all walks of life and different nations. The speeches are separated based on fields, languages and the purpose of it. Purpose includes inspiration, informative, courageous, Etc. TED.com helped me to gain inspiration from the courageous and from other speeches learnt to look into the other side of life. TED also contains many speeches by Indian social activist, ministers and innovators. Most of the videos, which the TED web hosts are very informative and will drive you to achieve.

Deep resistance {depression)

When I started to write this blog I was confident that i understood the reason for depression. Since, I was depressed for a year and managed to come out. I was confident that with the new found knowledge I could sum it up in a paragraph. But, while trying to write this i faced another tragedy and went back into depression. I began wondering again struggling to understand, where I was going wrong?, How is it that after the effort that I took to come of it, I was back in the same position??? Why is it this made my blood pressure go high at the age of 23?". All these thoughts created a desire for me to understand the cause for my blood pressure and a way to move on from depression.

Back drop: for years I was inflicting unnescesary stress on myself to find a good job and settle in life. It was so unnecessary that when in a group task if no one was interested I would still take up the task and try to complete it on my own, even though it was not simple and not very important. With this self centered mentality I tried to complete all the task in life, becoming lonely in the process. But, I am not sure if It was my fault all my child hood I was isolated with very few friends and doing things alone was not new. As the time went on my loneliness only became worse. During this time I fell in love with a girl. she was like a light in the darkness for me. She helped me see the better side of my life and I moved on from the lonely past of mine and started talking with people around me more often. It was becoming the best part of my life. As I was getting to move with more and more people I started to change, started to become rude. She started to move away more and more form me. I thought she was getting busy and i didn’t care much about it. But, when I found out that she was in love with someone else and is going to marry him. Everything around me came crashing down. It was the most depressing time for me. I hardly had any excuse. The person for whom i changed was no more with me. I lost the purpose and depression set in for good. No, excuse that I gave to myself consoled me. But, life is hard and we have to move on.

FORGETING was the most difficult thing to do especially when you don’t want to rember a person who is so deeply embedded in brain. It was time that helped me and my determination that was shattered, was back a little I had to move on. Staying at home alone was torturing the sorrow consumed me when alone. It was done with the little remaining strength I started going to job.

In order to forget the past and to retain the job I stressed myself to become the best, and it seemed to work. Though the stress inflicted upon me helped me focus on the work that was before hand, it made me blind of the world around, Bringing my social life to a stop. When I entered the job I got nervous even in the most basic task and did not perform well. Eventually stress got the better of me and i was forced to quit. Being jobless was also not easy, continues dormant status made me lose my wits and numbed my thinking. This just made things worse. Everything in within me was going bad my diet got ruined and I started feeling numb within. It was almost like something from within was telling me to take a break.

Discovering How to come out of depression was a mystery for me. With every step that I took to come out of depression, just back fired and worsened my situation. I had to sit and think about the reason for me being depressed and the reason was simple, I was feeling rejected by the world. Social needs of mine are not satisfied any more. I had to reason and assure myself that the world is simple; it’s only us who make things complicated. After all, objectives of life are to survive and reproduce. Are these, so hard a task that we have to get depressed for doing it? Well, I felt silly for being depressed and told myself that life was simple again and again whenever I felt depressed. So I gave myself a reason for not being depressed. (If you’re a person who is searching for purpose in life reason will surely improve your spirits)

Blood pressure is really a demoralizing factor. But, it helped me focus on the issues in which I was going wrong. I went back to focus about my past and on the things that which made me happy as a child. I went on to play sports of different fields, started jogging and reduced focus on my professional career. It helped me reduce the stress and gave me time to think about the things that I most enjoyed. With regular exercise and a good meal brought me to a healthy state. I almost started feeling like a kid again. The pressure started reducing and depression along with it. But, it did not happen in a day I had to frequently understand and feel myself to know if my steps are working. Meditation really helped me to feel the inner me. It relaxed my nerves and helped me control the thoughts. But, the time spent by me destroying the inner strength was more than the time taken to come out. It wasn’t easy at the beginning of every try to calm myself failed and reduced my confidence further it drove me to favor the worst thoughts. But, all along the thought that life simple, kept me going and helped me to understand the minor changes in life. Helping me to hope and hope for the best.

Over Coming Failure was the hardest part it was because of difficulties in handling failures that drove my head in the direction of depression. But, failure is also the factor that made me know me better. With every failure in making me better being an eye opener, helping me to take better choices.

Being with the Right People is very important to recover, many a times I found myself in situations where I didn’t want to be in. I felt I had no choice. But, its just the opposite. We are always in control, but we just don’t realize it. I understood it at the worst of the situation.

But, it was still worth the try and it reduced half my problems.

The increase in heart pressure and my wrong decisions and depression seemed to coincide. During this time i understood that going by others wish is the worst thing that a person can do. The whole world will tell us what’s good for us. But, we have to follow what we know is good for us. “Since, no one in the world can understand us better than ourselves”.

crawling into the shell within

Many a times it seemed interestingly simple to go and hide in a corner till the ghost in the movie went away. i wondered, what an amazingly easy thing escape is. if i can escape all the things that scare me, i never have to be worried again. Then came the day to face my fears the day of my first love. I was so amassed by the inflow of so many feelings i started getting scared. But, i had a way out of this, it was simple. To hide from it till it passes. it was beautiful it worked, those feelings did pass. But, so did the person i loved the most. i wondered "what just happened" unable to explain to myself what happened, i came to the conclusion that it was only natural that such things happen and it is more important to be successful in life. Then came the day i graduated and time to search for a job came. i tried for many that came my way and failed and suffered with the feeling of worthlessness and dejection. i got scared and remembered the old way that helped me from the ghost in the movie and having no other immediate remedy. I started hiding again from many good opportunity and good jobs. Again it helped me to remove the the thing's that i was scared of. The job interviews just stopped coming, i thought i would be happy. But, strangely it made me sad rather than enjoying my success. The success by avoiding every thing that i loved just because of the fear of it. Then i started wondering again "is crawling into the shell like a crab any good???". Then it hit me, the ghost in that movie went away, but the ghost didnt stop coming in other movies and hiding only allowed me to enjoy a day. hiding every day not only made the ghost go away, but made the world invisible to me.

Life a Reality or an Illusion

The sudden break in the economic stability and the following recession, was a shocking wake up call from the dream of ever growing economy. Suddenly, a sensation of nothing being real sets in. But, the failure of the system we created was no surprise. "To error is human" even if the persons who run's the country is perfect, the country will not be at its best. we may have to accept that we are living in an unreliable human society where every thing is destroyed and created out of man's greed and desires. So, on deeper pondering into the history of human, there was only one conclusion that was made. we are playing a game that nature created and we are going against the rules created for every living things on this simple planet. Thus, life is not an illusion its the world that we created around us. With more and more psychological research funded by corporates to discover the inner desires of humans, we are only being manipulated to believe on things that which turns out to be a mere illusion, created by our fellow humans. You may not agree to this but, these things are done merely to occupy the human mind with other thoughts, its more like Chinese trying to send more men to dangerous jobs to keep them occupied and not be a problem to society. If humans are not occupied or in our terms not involved in economic activity then our animal instinct kicks in then the stability of the society is affected. For Ex: maximum number of wars and slaughter takes place in least economically developed countries. So, when ever you feel life is an illusion, dont feel you are wrong, you have just come out of the matrix.

The problem about all this is that when i started thinking about all this i started feeling dejected and wanted to stop from committing my self from any social activity. but, very soon i realized that life is a gift and though we want a purpose for it, we need none to go on living an happy life. It also made me realize that, i no longer had to worry about the consequence of my actions and care about the future. no matter how the ending is its best to have lived to the fullest by the guidance of the our fore fathers than a selfish life or an animals life.