crawling into the shell within

Many a times it seemed interestingly simple to go and hide in a corner till the ghost in the movie went away. i wondered, what an amazingly easy thing escape is. if i can escape all the things that scare me, i never have to be worried again. Then came the day to face my fears the day of my first love. I was so amassed by the inflow of so many feelings i started getting scared. But, i had a way out of this, it was simple. To hide from it till it passes. it was beautiful it worked, those feelings did pass. But, so did the person i loved the most. i wondered "what just happened" unable to explain to myself what happened, i came to the conclusion that it was only natural that such things happen and it is more important to be successful in life. Then came the day i graduated and time to search for a job came. i tried for many that came my way and failed and suffered with the feeling of worthlessness and dejection. i got scared and remembered the old way that helped me from the ghost in the movie and having no other immediate remedy. I started hiding again from many good opportunity and good jobs. Again it helped me to remove the the thing's that i was scared of. The job interviews just stopped coming, i thought i would be happy. But, strangely it made me sad rather than enjoying my success. The success by avoiding every thing that i loved just because of the fear of it. Then i started wondering again "is crawling into the shell like a crab any good???". Then it hit me, the ghost in that movie went away, but the ghost didnt stop coming in other movies and hiding only allowed me to enjoy a day. hiding every day not only made the ghost go away, but made the world invisible to me.